Getting It On Versus Getting It Over With Muise, Amy; Impett, Emily A.; Desmarais, Serge
Personality & social psychology bulletin,
10/2013, Volume:
39, Issue:
10
Journal Article
Peer reviewed
Across three studies, we demonstrate that pursuing sex for approach goals, such as to enhance intimacy, fuels satisfaction and pursuing sex for avoidance goals, such as to avoid disappointing a ...partner, detracts from satisfaction. In Study 1, we use hypothetical scenarios to provide experimental support for the associations between sexual goals and sexual and relationship satisfaction. In Study 2, a dyadic daily experience study of dating couples, we demonstrate that daily sexual goals are associated with both partners’ daily relationship and sexual satisfaction. In Study 3, a dyadic daily experience study, we replicate the daily associations between sexual goals and satisfaction in a sample of long-term couples, and demonstrate that sexual goals impact partner’s relationship and sexual quality 4 months later. In all studies, the associations between sexual goals and enhanced satisfaction as reported by both partners were mediated by sexual desire. Implications for research on sexual motivation and close relationships are discussed.
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Five studies examined whether receiving gratitude expressions from a romantic partner can buffer insecurely attached individuals from experiencing low relationship satisfaction and commitment. In ...Study 1, the negative associations between attachment avoidance and both satisfaction and commitment were weaker among individuals who perceived that their partner expressed gratitude more frequently. The same pattern was found with attachment anxiety and satisfaction. Study 2 showed that among individuals who perceived high (vs. low) levels of gratitude expressions from the partner, both attachment dimensions were less strongly related to the belief that the partner is low in communal strength, which, in turn, was associated with greater satisfaction and commitment. In Studies 3-5, we examined whether perceptions or a partner's actual gratitude expression can have benefits on insecurely attached individuals' daily satisfaction. Our results indicated that perceived, rather than a partner's self-reported, gratitude expressions were critical to buffering insecurely attached individuals' daily dissatisfaction. Study 5 also provided evidence for long-term benefits of perceiving a partner's gratitude expressions on avoidantly attached individuals' relationship. Perceiving high levels of a partner's gratitude expressions on average enhanced avoidantly attached individuals' feelings of being cared for by the partner 3 months later, which were associated with greater satisfaction and commitment. Results from our meta-analysis indicated that benefits of perceiving a partner's gratitude expressions may be specific to buffering the negative effects of attachment avoidance on satisfaction. Overall, our findings highlight the powerful function of gratitude in insecurely attached individuals' romantic relationships.
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Prosocial behavior is often thought to bring benefits to individuals and relationships. Do such benefits exist when prosocial behavior is costly for the individual, such as when people are ...sacrificing for their partner or relationship? Although different theoretical accounts would predict that sacrifice is either positively or negatively associated with personal and relational well-being, empirical work in this regard has been inconclusive. We conducted a meta-analytic synthesis of 82 data sets and 9,547 effect sizes (N = 32,053) to test the link between sacrifice and both personal and relationship well-being for both the individual who performs the sacrifice and their romantic partner. We examined four different facets of sacrifice (i.e., willingness to sacrifice, behavioral sacrifice, satisfaction with sacrifice, and costs of sacrifice). Results revealed that these facets were differently associated with well-being. Specifically, an individual's willingness to sacrifice was positively associated with their own personal and relationship well-being and with their partner's relationship well-being (.09 < rs < .27). However, behavioral sacrifice was negatively associated with own personal well-being (r = −.07). Satisfaction with sacrifice was positively associated with individual and partner well-being (.11 < rs < .43). Costs of sacrifice were negatively related to one's own personal and relationship well-being and to the partner's relationship well-being (−.10 < rs < −.26). Some moderators were also identified. We discuss the implications of these findings for research on prosocial behavior and relationships, address the implications of the methodologies used to study prosocial behavior, and suggest directions for future research.
Public Significance Statement
This meta-analysis reveals that although being motivated to sacrifice for the relationship was linked to beneficial outcomes for the individual, the partner, and the relationship, there was a negative association between actually performing sacrifices and people's own well-being. The appraisals of sacrifice as positive or costly were also reliability associated with well-being.
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Despite the worldwide increase in single-person households, little research has examined what factors contribute to a satisfying single life. We used three data sets (N = 3,890) to examine how ...satisfaction with sexual and social aspects of life are linked with single people’s perceptions of marriage and singlehood. Our results suggest that higher sexual satisfaction is associated with less desire to marry (Study 1), stronger beliefs that unmarried people can be happy without marriage (Study 2), and greater satisfaction with singlehood and less desire for a partner (Study 3). All effects in Studies 1 and 3 remained significant controlling for life satisfaction and sexual frequency. Satisfying friendships were associated with variables related to satisfaction with singlehood but not variables related to desire for a partner, whereas no effect was found for satisfaction with family. This study highlights the potential importance of maintaining a satisfying sex life in people’s satisfaction with singlehood.
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Major stressors can influence religiosity, making some people more religious, while making others less religious. In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, we conducted a mixed-method study with a ...nationally representative sample of religiously affiliated American adults (N = 685) to assess group differences between those who decreased, stayed the same, or increased in their religious devotion. In quantitative analyses we evaluated differences on sociodemographic variables, religious behaviors, individual differences, prosocial emotions, well-being, and COVID-19 attitudes and behaviors. Of most note, those who changed (i.e., increased or decreased) in religious devotion were more likely than those with no change in devotion to experience high levels of stress and threat related to COVID-19, but only those who increased in religious devotion had the highest dispositional prosocial emotions (i.e., gratitude and awe). Further, those who changed in religious devotion were more likely to report searching for meaning than those with no change, but only those who increased were more likely to report actual presence of meaning. Qualitative analyses revealed that those who increased in religious devotion reported increasing personal worship, the need for a higher power, and uncertainty in life as reasons for their increase in religious devotion; those who decreased reported being unable to communally worship, a lack of commitment or priority, and challenges making it hard to believe in God as reasons for their decrease in religious devotion. The findings help identify how COVID-19 has affected religious devotion, and how religion might be used as a coping mechanism during a major life stressor.
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Women coping with female sexual interest/arousal disorder (FSIAD) report lower sexual and relationship satisfaction compared to healthy controls. In community samples, high sexual communal strength ...(i.e., the motivation to meet a partner's sexual needs) is associated with higher sexual desire and satisfaction, but high unmitigated sexual communion (i.e., the prioritization of a partner's needs to the exclusion of one's own needs) is associated with lower sexual satisfaction. People higher in sexual communal strength report engaging in sex for approach goals (i.e., to enhance intimacy in their relationship), but not for avoidance goals (i.e., to avert conflict or a partner's disappointment) and this is one reason why they report greater sexual desire. In the current sample of 97 women diagnosed with FSIAD and their partners we investigated the association between sexual communal strength and unmitigated sexual communion and sexual well-being (i.e., sexual desire, sexual satisfaction and sexual distress) and sexual goals (i.e., approach and avoidance goals). Women who reported higher sexual communal strength were more likely to pursue sex for approach goals and their partner reported greater sexual satisfaction. When partners reported higher sexual communal strength, they reported higher sexual desire, but when they reported higher unmitigated sexual communion, they reported higher sexual distress. Additional associations emerged for couples who engage in sex more (compared to less) frequently. Our findings demonstrate that being motivated to meet a partner's sexual needs is associated with greater sexual well-being for couples coping with FSIAD, but when this motivation involves neglecting one's own needs, people do not report greater sexual well-being and instead, partners report higher sexual distress.
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How do parents feel when they regulate their emotional expressions in ways that are incongruent with their genuine feelings? In an experimental study, parents reported experiencing lower ...authenticity, emotional well-being, relationship quality, and responsiveness to their children’s needs when they recalled caregiving experiences in which they suppressed negative emotions and amplified positive emotions, relative to a control condition. In a 10-day daily experience study, parents tended to use both regulation strategies simultaneously. In addition, assessing their unique effects indicated that positive emotion amplification, but not negative emotion suppression, had an indirect effect on parental outcomes via authenticity, with negative emotion suppression no longer being costly. This indirect effect was dampened when accounting for care difficulty. In both studies, effects were independent of a child’s mood. The current results suggest that parents’ attempts to suppress negative and amplify positive emotions during child care can detract from their well-being and high-quality parent–child bonds.
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The motivation to care for the welfare of others, or communal motivation, is a crucial component of satisfying interpersonal relationships and personal well-being. The current meta-analysis ...synthesized 100 studies (Ntotal = 26,645) on communal motivation to establish its associations with subjective personal well-being (e.g., life satisfaction, positive affect, and negative affect) and relationship well-being (e.g., relationship satisfaction, partner-oriented positive affect, and partner-oriented negative affect) for both the person providing communal care and their partner. Three types of communal motivation were examined, including general, partner-specific (for children, parents, romantic partners, and friends), and unmitigated (i.e., devoid of agency and self-oriented concern). Results revealed positive associations between all three forms of communal motivation and relationship well-being for the self (.11 ≤ rs ≤ .44) and relationship partners (.11 ≤ rs ≤ .15). However, only general and partner-specific communal motivation, and not unmitigated communal motivation, were linked with greater personal well-being for both the self (.12 ≤ rs ≤ .16) and relationship partners (.04 ≤ rs ≤ .09). These associations were generally consistent across gender, relationship length, publication status, and lab. Finally, relationship partners were similar in partner-specific (r = .26) and unmitigated (r = .15) communal motivation only. Findings from the current meta-analysis suggest that care for the welfare of others is linked to greater relationship well-being for both members of a relationship. However, communal care is only linked to personal well-being insofar as it is mitigated by a degree of self-oriented concern. We provide theoretical and power recommendations for future research.
Public Significance Statement
This meta-analysis of 100 studies demonstrated that caring for the welfare of others is linked to relationship well-being for those who care as well as their close relationship partners. However, caring for the welfare of others is linked to personal well-being only insofar as people are not self-neglecting in their care.
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This multimethod series of studies merges the literatures on gratitude and risk regulation to test a new process model of gratitude and relationship maintenance. We develop a measure of appreciation ...in relationships and use cross-sectional, daily experience, observational, and longitudinal methods to test our model. Across studies, we show that people who feel more appreciated by their romantic partners report being more appreciative of their partners. In turn, people who are more appreciative of their partners report being more responsive to their partners' needs (Study 1), and are more committed and more likely to remain in their relationships over time (Study 2). Appreciative partners are also rated by outside observers as relatively more responsive and committed during dyadic interactions in the laboratory, and these behavioral displays are one way in which appreciation is transmitted from one partner to the other (Study 3). These findings provide evidence that gratitude is important for the successful maintenance of intimate bonds.
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Is it true that engaging in more frequent sex is associated with greater well-being? The media emphasizes—and research supports—the claim that the more sex you have, the happier you will feel. Across ...three studies (N = 30,645), we demonstrate that the association between sexual frequency and well-being is best described by a curvilinear (as opposed to a linear) association where sex is no longer associated with well-being at a frequency of more than once a week. In Study 1, the association between sexual frequency and well-being is only significant for people in relationships. In Studies 2 and 3, which included only people in relationships, sexual frequency had a curvilinear association with relationship satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction mediated the association between sexual frequency and well-being. For people in relationships, sexual frequency is no longer significantly associated with well-being at a frequency greater than once a week.
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