In this paper, we analyze two mainstream children's films, Storks (2016), and The Boss Baby (2017), both of which answer the proverbial question, "Where do babies come from?" with "They come from corporate factories above the clouds." We argue that these films bypass the gendered labor of reproduction, forwarding instead a politics of neoliberal multiculturalism in which the entrepreneurial spirit of masculinized reproductive industries appears to facilitate a post-racial utopia. These films tacitly reinstate traditional familial and heteronormative whiteness as the path toward the intertwined goals of capital accumulation and happiness. As such, they support the socialization of children into a policy landscape that increasingly devalues the physical, emotional, and economic labor of gestation, birth, and parenting, which in turn contributes to the conditions for disinvestment in the structures and policies that would ensure reproductive rights, health, and justice for marginalized groups.