Water, under microwave irradiation and at a temperature of 473 K, reaches pressures above 16 bar, being capable to act as catalyst, without the use of organic solvents and oxidants, for meso‐substituted porphyrin synthesis. Sustainability of the reaction is proved by E Factor=35 and EcoScale value of 50.5, the highest so far obtained for porphyrin synthesis. Methodology’s wide versatility is clearly demonstrated by the good yields obtained for both aryl and alkyl substituted porphyrins. These reaction conditions represent a huge development, not only by using very high concentrations, minimizing organic solvent usage, but also by eradicating toxic expensive solvents and oxidants. Micro‐Porph′in‐Power Rangers: Water, under microwave irradiation and at high temperatures, aids the synthesis of meso‐substituted porphyrins. By using very high concentrations, the use of solvent can be minimized, and the solvents that are used are less toxic. Also, expensive oxidants are avoided. The sustainability merits of the reaction are evident from its E Factor of 35; the lowest obtained for porphyrin synthesis thus far.