Abstract The non-equilibrium dynamics of matter excited by light may produce electronic phases, such as laser-induced high-transition-temperature superconductivity, that do not exist in equilibrium. Here we simulate the dynamics of a metal driven at initial time by a spatially uniform pump that excites dipole-active vibrational modes which couple nonlinearly to electrons. We provide evidence for rapid loss of spatial coherence, leading to emergent effective disorder in the dynamics, which arises in a system unitarily evolving under a translation-invariant Hamiltonian, and dominates the electronic behavior as the system evolves towards a correlated electron-phonon long-time state, possibly explaining why transient superconductivity is not observed. Our framework provides a basis within which to understand correlation dynamics in current pump-probe experiments of vibrationally coupled electrons, highlight the importance of the evolution of phase coherence, and demonstrate that pumped electron-phonon systems provide a means of realizing dynamically induced disorder in translation-invariant systems.