Background Parents' high academic expectations are positively associated with young children's mathematical abilities. However, minimal attention has been devoted to whether, and how, different ways of conveying the performance targets would result in different outcomes. Aims The current study investigated whether and how parents' perfectionistic strivings and concerns were associated with young children's mathematical abilities through home mathematical activities, children's approach motivation to learn mathematics, and children's avoidance motivation to learn mathematics. Sample Participants included 211 kindergarteners in Hong Kong and their parents. Methods Data were collected through individual child tests and parent questionnaires. Results Structural equation modelling revealed that parents' perfectionistic strivings had a direct positive link with children's mathematical abilities, an indirect link via approach motivation to learn mathematics, and an indirect link via home mathematical activities, and then approach motivation. Parents' perfectionistic concerns had a direct negative link with children's mathematical abilities, an indirect link via approach motivation to learn mathematics, and an indirect link via avoidance motivation to learn mathematics. Conclusions Early childhood practitioners are recommended to raise parents' awareness of how to communicate high‐performance targets to children in a constructive manner.