We explore the role of the extended family on family decision-making in the context of a high-involvement purchase decision in an emerging economy. Adopting a grounded theory approach, we conducted 33 in-depth interviews with 11 families across Vietnam, including both nuclear and extended family members. Our findings demonstrate that parents retain a significant, albeit evolving, role in the consumption decision-making of their adult children, acting as a facilitator, cultural mentor and/or patriarch. However, these roles, coupled with the broader macro-environmental transformation, have contributed to two key tensions with tradition for the younger generation: respecting and deferring to their parents versus fulfilling their own aspirations fuelled by socio-economic change; and, for women in particular, achieving a greater voice in decision-making versus adhering to the culturally entrenched norms of a patriarchal society. •Extended family members play a key role in family purchase decision-making process.•Extended family members can act as facilitator, cultural mentor and/or patriarch.•Rapid socio-cultural change in emerging markets can create tensions with tradition.•Tensions relate to navigating generational and gender hierarchies.