Aim This work explores the experiences and meaning attributed by parents who underwent the decision‐making process of withholding and/or withdrawing life‐sustaining treatment for their newborn. Methods Audio‐recorded face‐to‐face interviews were led and analysed using interpretative phenomenological analysis. Eight families (seven mothers and five fathers) whose baby underwent withholding and/or withdrawing of life‐sustaining treatment in three neonatal intensive care units from two regions in France were included. Results The findings reveal two paradoxes within the meaning‐making process of parents: role ambivalence and choice ambiguity. We contend that these paradoxes, along with the need to mitigate uncertainty, form protective psychological mechanisms that enable parents to cope with the decision, maintain their parental identity and prevent decisional regret. Conclusion Role ambivalence and choice ambiguity should be considered when shared decision‐making in the neonatal intensive care unit. Recognising and addressing these paradoxical beliefs is essential for informing parent support practices and professional recommendations, as well as add to ethical discussions pertaining to parental autonomy and physicians' rapport to uncertainty.