•Post-stress recovery assays separate Meretrix meretrix into proactive and reactive.•Nano-TiO2 exposure impaired clams' survival and physiological conditions.•High survival rate in proactive clams might change ecosystem population structure.•Proactive clams had better adaptability under nano-TiO2 exposure. Nano-TiO2 is inevitably released into aquatic environment with increasing of nanotechnology industries. Study pointed that different individuality showed divergent behavioral and physiological response when facing environmental stress. However, the effects of nano-TiO2 on tolerance of bivalves with different individualities remain unknown. In the study, clams were divided into two types of individuality - proactive and reactive by post-stress recovery method. It turned out that proactive individuals had quicker shell opening level, stronger burrowing behavior, faster feeding recovery, higher standard metabolic rate and more rapid ammonia excretion ability than reactive individuals after exposed to air. Then, the survival rate, hemocytes response and oxidase activity of classified clams were evaluated after nano-TiO2 exposure. Results showed that after 30 d exposure, proactive individuals accelerated burrowing behavior with higher survival rate. Moreover, proactive clams had better adaptability and less hemocytes response and oxidative damage than reactive clams. The study highlights the individualities of marine shell fish determine individual capacity to adapt to environmental changes, play important roles in aquaculture and coastal ecosystem health.