The ability to detect low‐abundance proteins in human body fluids plays a critical role in proteomic research to achieve a comprehensive understanding of protein functions and early‐stage disease diagnosis to reduce mortality rates. Ultrasensitive (sub‐fM), rapid, simple “mix‐and‐read” plasmonic colorimetric biosensing of large‐size (≈180 kDa) proteins in biofluids using an ultralow‐noise multilayer molybdenum disulfide (MoS2) photoconducting channel is reported here. With its out‐of‐plane structure optimized to minimize carrier scattering, the multilayer MoS2 channel operated under near‐infrared illumination enables the detection of a subtle plasmonic extinction shift caused by antigen‐induced nanoprobe aggregation. The demonstrated biosensing strategy allows quantifying carcinoembryonic antigen in unprocessed whole blood with a dynamic range of 106, a sample‐to‐answer time of 10 min, and a limit of detection of 0.1–3 pg mL−1, which is ≈100‐fold more sensitive than the clinical‐standard enzyme‐linked immunosorbent assays. The biosensing methodology can be broadly used to realize timely personalized diagnostics and physiological monitoring of diseases in point‐of‐care settings. A plasmonic colorimetric biosensing platform for rapid and ultrasensitive detection of cancer biomarkers in biofluids is developed using an ultralow‐noise multilayer molybdenum disulfide (MoS2) photoconducting channel. Near‐infrared operation of the multilayer MoS2 channel coupled with a nanoparticle aggregation‐based assay enables user‐friendly homogeneous on‐chip immunosensing that is poised for point‐of‐care testing.