On Oct 16, 1983, U.S. News and World Report published its first rankings of institutions. In 2007 the U.S. News rankings celebrated their 25th anniversary, having become an American icon. They've also spawned a veritable tribe of rankings telling Americans about the best law schools and graduate schools and medical schools and more. Like the calculations of the autistic savant Dustin Hoffman played in Rain Man, the rankings were invested with arithmetic precision but the numbers themselves were largely devoid of meaning. The editors responsible for the rankings issues seemingly did not understand what their statistical staff and consultants were doing -- or why. Despite the muddle caused by the rankings, two important aspects of the problem are now clearer. First, the U.S. News rankings are here to stay and the story those numbers tell will remain largely the same. At the same time, calls for an alternative to the U.S. News rankings will increase in both frequency and fervor.