Simultaneous hermaphrodites offer the chance to study antagonistic coevolution between the sexes when individuals function in both roles. Traumatic mating by hypodermic insemination has repeatedly evolved in hermaphroditic taxa, but evidence for the fitness costs of such male-advantage traits is lacking. When reared in isolation, specimens of the sea slug Alderia willowi (Opisthobranchia: Sacoglossa) initially laid clutches of unfertilized eggs but 4 days later began self-fertilizing; this is only the third report of selfing in an opisthobranch. Hypodermic insemination may allow selfing in Alderia if penetration of the body wall bypasses internal mechanisms that promote outcrossing. Selfing specimens and slugs reared in pairs had reduced fecundity compared to isolated slugs laying unfertilized clutches, suggesting that hypodermic insemination imposes a cost of mating. Egg production increased for field-caught slugs separated after mating compared to slugs held in pairs, a further indication that accessibility to mates imposes a fitness cost to the female function. Such antagonism can confer a competitive advantage to slugs mating in the male role but diminish reproduction in the female role among hermaphrodites capable of long-term sperm storage. Alderia willowi is also a rare case of poecilogony, with adults producing either planktotrophic or lecithotrophic larvae. Our rearing studies revealed that most slugs switched between expressed development modes at some point; such reproductive flexibility within individuals is unprecedented, even among poecilogonous species.